Click on the image below or here to purchase a print of Minding.

I’ll end this first (second-part-of) post by stating that at the moment of writing this second half I have been feeling a bit low. Dishearten by the state of the world, yet hopeful about men and women like me expressing their love; worried about my kids, my family and friends, yet knowing “control” is an illusion, hence trusting in love, higher energies and the belief that we all must live through what we have chosen, call it karma or fate, that every lesson is there for our benefit regardless how cruel a threat it could pose on us; and struggling with my own humanity within this human vessel called Laura and my relationships through her.

I guess the fourth (4.) topic I plan to document are these “battles on high..” and low places, “as above, so below.” I plan to share about what I’m going through in my inner world, and how I’m dealing with it all.

As an Aries my temperament can be a bit whimsical, though I’ve become very matter of fact, somewhat cynical about the “powers that be” and anything that shows itself highly set apart in this physical realm, or simply: authoritarian. I am a rational woman who uses reason and logic, yet my reason and logic may not be as palatable for some.

Relationship-wise, to those closest to me like my children but particularly my nesting partner (who happens to be a Cancer..) I can feel like I am too demanding when it comes to understanding and communication. This is an area we both struggle with, but I feel I’m most susceptible to its disruption when it goes south (maybe it’s the same for him, but being two different personalities we tend to show our distress and affection in very different ways.. it’s like our emotions are just as strong, the delivery and comprehension of it is where we may differ greatly sometimes.) Living at such a close proximity can be a classroom in and of itself, I know the past ten years have been filled with plenty of lessons for sure.

Maybe sometimes I’ll only feel like posting pictures, a few words…of poetry, works in progress, links, music and happenings. I hope to be able to fill this substack blog with my mind, my experiments with life, the world and experiences, feelings, creations as Laura.. I’ll figure it out.

Thank you for getting this far if you have. I hope you can join me again next time.

LVA

PS: Below is a painting I did with acrylic on wood. It was sold at a Merk Mountain event in 2017 I believe.. You can purchase a print or t-shirt on my threadless store-front here.

To think that it has taken thirty some years to finally say something like, “I have arrived on a new plateau of “life.”" Yes (I tell myself), it’s taken this long to become this translucent that I am no longer worried about who reads me. I am an open book. (addition: this doesn’t make me more or less than anyone…we all have our own journeys to go through, I don’t think it ever really ends.)

If you’re reading this is either because you’re a close friend of mine, an acquaintance, an old foe (I love you..), or a curious creative mind (in which case I would love to connect with you, see your work, hear your thoughts… contact me here!) Either ways, I appreciate your interest and hope I can be a source something good, if not inspiration.

Anyways, I will start this thing by documenting my current works in progress…

(1.) Last Friday July 3rd, 2026 was the opening night to the group art exhibition I started planning about two years ago.

“As Within, So Without” is a result of personal reflection of oneself and the world.
I gathered diverse and “obscure” visual artists, gave them a task, a subject matter, assigned dates, etc; and in time they showed or did not show themselves.

These folks weren’t just plucked from some random advertisement, these were individuals who came to the creative meetups or whom I somehow came across and connected or worked with but definitely found kindred spirits in (at least for a short period of time). Some becoming my closest confidants. I had acquired what in my darkness I prayed for: friendships that overpass all kind of blood affiliations. Sisters in whom the term family really applied. [Fervent devotion [to the wholeness of love] through thought and deed are the manifesting hands of the most high…]

The thirteen artist group art exhibit opening night took place at the Artistry gallery and workshop in Greenville, SC. I’m proud and happy to say it was a work of love radiating all the love it was receiving. You can view more information about the gallery exhibition here. With about (if not over) a 100 visitors; the opening night was received with much love. (sorry (lol) I’m emphasizing this term…but it was so much love I thought I would explode from joy and fulfillment, it was close if not—a form of heaven.)

Currently I am planning the artist panel which will be taking place at the gallery on Saturday July 25th, 6pm. The next few days I will be working on new flyers and a creative social media campaign so that my artists have a good turnout. There’s been a lot of learning on my part in so many levels…(maybe that’ll be a post).

[I think I could do something like this for a lot of my life(?) I think so. I like it, it’s been some hard shit, but somehow it simply works because… love. Whoever you are and whatever you may or may not “believe” in, I think we could possibly agree on one thing… love means no harm, and at the most it means we nurture one another in order to help each other grow, love is liberation of one another unto our highest (or lowest) selves, love is inspiring you to do better..either with my presence (or without). Love truly is the fulfillment of all the “law and the prophets”, love is the connector of all, it’s oxygen from the trees, love is the only thing that matters.]

(2.) Some of you know I sing. I’ve collaborated in the past with multiple independent producers and artists. In 2020 I even released a poorly mastered album, yet it was what it is. Though for a while I felt a bit embarrassed, six years has worn its lessons on me. I no longer see it as a final idea, a “performance gone bad”, instead I see it as an experiment, a project, a class, a lesson….. all a.k.a. a blessing and mass of information to learn from. That’s all that it all ever is, an opportunity to grow. If only we realized that instead of mingling with our weak egos for possibly ages… the “loser”/"high-standard” mentality could be the true loss of time (imo).

Once upon a time in (2015/2016) a younger me was manipulated by her ex-boyfriend to give him her camera as a peace offering over a nasty break-up. His friend too decided he would “borrow” my guitar… and there it went, for years.

In 2018 I started pursuing music in a more serious way, recording (from a mini home studio) a ten track “hip-hop/alternative soul” album called ABUSE OF POWER.

In 2024, a very determined Laura went with one of her best-friends to buy an acoustic guitar. I did and slowly but surely I learned it more than I had before, and still am.

Thus far in 2026 (for practice and eventually busking) I have played over thirty covers, and written and helped compose five.

I have decided that I am not gonna release perfect tracks, I am not gonna compete with the status quo and build some persona. Music [to me] is personal. It’s the way I communicate (aside from painting) my most intimate thoughts, feelings and emotions. I make it to be seen and understood as no-one else but myself. Authenticity is a key for me, and the only way I willingly contribute any of me, and hence, any of “it”. There is no separation. Hence, I am deciding to write, record, write, record, release! maybe record or master, remaster, release again! It’ll get better and better and I’ll get better and better, has experimentation ever been so simple?

[I haven’t always been this honest. In growing myself I have had to let go of so much unnecessary burdens made up of expectations, identities, ideas, individuals, egos… I am not perfect, truly no such thing. There are only innumerable ways we manifest our highest. My “faith” isn’t in deed alone, but in intend. My intention is love, and the reason I create at all.]

(3.) Building a profession…
For the past ten years I’ve worked in commercial kitchens. In the need of providing for my now teens I have apparently gained some professional cooking experience (with all that “professional experience”, getting a job outside of the field can be difficult). Something that was never my intention. I am over it. Fin.

My last gig was pretty much me realizing how belittled I felt. I told several of my close friends, “I know I am not stupid, you know I’m not stupid… I am awesome and sharp at what I’m passionate about. I am NOT passionate about kitchens.”

So right now I am working on this (blog), working on getting my LLC on track, working on event planning contracts, actively learning and doing the deed of planning an artist panel, preparing myself for this Saturday’s Q&A as an individual visual artist (Art in 5 hosted by my most amazing friend Sharese M. at the Art Room in the Triune Mercy Center), and continuing to share about the upcoming Creative Meetup and Workshop held by fellow artist and friend David F. on the 19th. All this whilst practicing my guitar, recording, and writing here and there. All in the purpose of expressing my love by creating opportunities for others to express theirs—things in which I find great fulfillment and joy. (I am full and rich in love! But if I were equally as worldly rich, paying bills would be effortless.)

I was given two leads for general labour, possibly even back in the kitchen…(boo…).
Another is the update of resumes and praying to finding part-time work that can at least instill me with skills more useful to my pursuits. Isn’t this the artist’s story one time after another? (lol)

[In the end, I choose to see it all as an experiment. I choose to see myself as I in this avatar, this vessel of flesh and bones and heart and spirit. Heaven and hell playing in the balance of our assertions and contemplations. I choose to walk in either according to my pursuit, mine just happened to be Magnum Opus.]

(to be continued…)

Images from the opening night, July 3rd. Photo credits to Michelle Rojas (@themichellerojas of @haushathor)